Fir Park Corner FC: The WorldNet Diary: Monday

There will be no talk of moving furniture for pensioners in Motherwell in the style of Richie here though. It’s way too important an event to risk an injury by helping out pensioners. Just ask John Hendry. Our John has sent thousands of text messages counting the days to the tournament whilst Frazzle has been checking out the best deals of football kit, water and indeed gazebos. It’s well seen that the gaffer given up on us winning anything on the field and is concentrating his attentions on taking the coveted team of the tournament prize.

We came very close to winning that last year and had it not been for one of our lot chucking the contents of a poor Port Vale lad’s room out the window, we would probably have done so. Last year’s highlights included the appearance of ‘Well fan extraordinaire Gavin “323” Wallace, who believed he was in Manchester the whole weekend whilst offering Pernod in plastic Digimon cups. He’ll not be joining us this year though and neither will the Digimon cups due to the sad passing of Your More Store. As you may have seen I haven’t mentioned anything about the performance on the park last year – there’s a good reason! - but we’ll not be dwelling on that. The lasting highlight aside from holding Millwall to a 1-1 draw, was Frazzle tackling the Everton female striker and then apologising. Who says chivalry is dead? Only five days left!