Yes, it happened
Controversy at Fir Park yesterday afternoon when Dave MacPherson inexplicable passed the ball forward during the second half of the Jam Tarts regular whipping of The Steelmen.
No-one in attendance could believe their eyes, especially the Hearts stopper himself, who in whole career to date has never committed such a cardinal error. After the game the big defender was speechless: "I don't know what came over me. One minute the ball was at my feet and the next minute I realised my blunder- I'd passed the ball forward and over the halfway line. I still can't believe I did such a stupid thing"
Still stunned, Dave continued. . . "Maybe I've been overdoing it lately; the boss has had me in extra afternoons and evenings practising my passbacks to Henry and my confidence in stroking the ball back the way was at an all time high. I've never been passing back better or from such long distances from goal. Obviously I'll have to try not to let this affect my game in the future. I hope Mr Roxburgh doesn't think I'm going to make a habit of this or my international career could be in jeopardy."
Reactions to this momentous event were mixed: Joe Jordan told us that the big stopper would be fined a week's wages and would be confiscating the player's portable heated Carmen Rollers.
I'm sure in this instance of the P.F.A. won't object to my actions for such a serious misdemeanour. It's the thin end of the wedge: next thing you'll know he'll stop feigning injuries during the game, or even worse, not talk back to referees and try to run the game for them. We have a concerted plan each game for disrupting and annoying the opposition and Dave's sleep-inducting ' one pass-back every minute' routine is central to our tactics. I may have to let him go at the end of the season if this sort of thing ever happens again: any more of this and he'll start believing he's a football player."
A tearful Henry Smith was lost for words :. "I'm lost for words" said the keeper, as he collapsed for no apparent reason, clutching his wrist, then his left leg, then his right ankle,then his face, then his....... .......
Jim Farry, S.F.A. supremo, said a special disciplinary committee would look into the Fir Park events immediately as long as it didn't undermine Hampden's chances of remaining the National Stadium.... "You've got to remember" that David once played with Rangers so any action we do take will be lenient. He wasn't encouraged to pass forward at Ibrox and we will have to take this into account. However this style of play, forward-passing and all it entails, shouldn't be encouraged. Goodness only what the standard of the game would be like if such ideas caught on."
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