GLF61: A Steelman's Slant

Last updated : 03 September 2017 By GLF

GLF61: Eddie discovers there's a lot of paranoia out there!


Paranoia & insanity, there's a lot of it going about !!!!!

Why is it that seemingly sensible folk, with good jobs and of a favourable intelligence,who comfortably understand the problems and solutions to our complicated world,suddenly turns into a blinkered nonsensical numpty when it comes to our beloved sport?

Guys who can contribute to a healthy debate on the latest situation in Afghanistan or Turkmenistan cannot make any salient point on Scottish Football.The latest proof of this phenomenon has emanated from the slums of Gorgie, through the voices of ( self made millionaire !!! ) Vlad the Impaler and his trusty servant Valdas the Jambo.Vlad has been making noises for months about the “Press from the West ” which he claims attempt to upset the Jambos on the eve of any big match by printing “ nonsense ” about Hearts to sabotage their crusade to take over Scotland,Europe,and indeed the World.Of course this was something constantly brought up by wee Jum McLean and Alex Ferguson when they were up here.I dunno if they actually believed it or if it was a ploy to crank the pressure up on the referees,but it was a recurring debate in the 1980's.

Most of the stories about the Hearts during the Romanov empire have as far as I can see been legitimate, although I must say that the claim about Paul Hartley calling Rangers “orange bastards ” ten years ago in a Millwall fanzine was poor,poor journalism.The Jambo claims though from management about the AEK Athens Champions League qualifier were quality.Screaming injustice after Bruno Aguiar was sent off in the first leg was way off beam.Two justified yellow cards only add up one way ( unless you are Graham Poll ),and surely after one look at the stats or even another look at the 90 minutes would confirm that despite scoring two very late goals the best team won in the end. What was said in the aftermath of the Murrayfield tie paled into insignificance after the 2nd leg.Not content with listening to the Hearts coaching staff screaming “cheat ” to the referee for his display,we had to listen to Pat Nevin,Gordon Smith and even Dangerless Dougie Donnelly casting doubts on the honesty of the referee.It was cringe-worthy and everything I hate about watching the half time “chat ” on England games on the Beeb.

We really don't want “fans” commenting on events on a football pitch, we can get their views on any given day. What we do want is “experts” who maybe have an insight to the game that we don't see as relevant,or perhaps we don't think about.The Russian referee wasn't the best,but hey we've had worse playing the Old Firm and the pundits don't shout about conspiracies then,so there is a lot of it about ( copyright,S. Milligan ).Julian Brelliers first yellow was soft, but for goodness sake, my kids at under - 13's level are told / warned not to wear jewellery.To think that a pro would run the risk of being cautioned for such an offence in what is the premier club competition is as mad as a Scottish Socialist enrolling in a swingers club in downtown Manchester!

The second yellow card was a foul using his elbow and was fully warranted, as was Neil McCann's manic two - footed horizontal lunge on an opponent.So the Nevin / Smith / Donnelly out-pouring of grief was embarrassing.The best was yet to come from Vlad though,“ if Hearts played football the way AEK play ………… I'd take my investment out of the Club and out of football. ”Brilliant !!!!These two in charge at Tynecastle make the Chuckle Brothers look like some experts from the Dragons Den!

I suppose we all use football as an excuse or a reason to display temporary insanity and get away with it.I recall my musical heroes, The Stranglers,wrote a track called La Folie,which described the “ madness ” called love.It could mean a guys love for his car, a woman's love of her garden or even a fans love for his football team,which most sane folk would say is daft.I mean how can you fall in love with a car !But, if you wait for two hours on a street corner in the pouring rain, waiting on your sweetheart everybody thinks that is lovely and romantic and a wonderful thing to do.It proves that love (and football ) is an excuse for madness.Of course our old friends from Parkhead have the copyright on Paranoia within our borders.With so many conspiracy theories in green and white hoops, they must struggle to split the truth from fiction.Talking of Celtic,am I the only one who finds it quite ironic that a Club, which was founded on a charity that dealt with feeding the needy,a Club that is supported by a mostly socialist / republican fan base,would welcome,in this day and age,Celtic paying £30/£40/£45, 000 per week for a Dane to play ( thuggish)football.A sum which the vast majority would take perhaps two years to earn.Just because he's pulling on the hoops,all the morals of the fans, and club go right out the Brother Walfrid Window.Oui, c'est la folie.

Eddie Ferguson

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