GLF 52: Arise, Sir Jackson!

Last updated : 29 August 2017 By Firparkcorner

GLF 52: Calum reviews the season.


“ Arise, Sir Jackson ! ”


Oh, I do love the mighty ‘Well !Seriously, I really do !Don’t you?


I just want to give a big‘Well done to the club for this season, you have made me so proud to be a Motherwell fan !My mates don’t understand why I am so happy ! Here are a few reasons : -


1 - 12 wins, 9 draws ….. nuff said !

2 - Admin no more. ( Bryan Jackson for a knighthood, sign the petition )

3 - Financially we are in the black.

4 - Bottom six, your having a laugh !

5 - Fortress Parkhead.Be serious, the bloomin' roof leaks.

6 - Have signed new Viduka, but smaller and better ( please stay Dougie ! )

7 - Have a Young Player Of The Year nominee again !

8 - Farty Whistle have lost 23 times, ho ! ho ! ho !

9 - Terry Butcher is our Manager.

10 - We are getting a new pitch and undersoil heating.

11 - Toastie scored another goal.

12 - Karl Ready will soon have his money.

13 - We are currently battling for 4th place in the league.


Ooops ! I nearly forgot.


14 - Derek Townsley plays for Gretna.


Surely things can’t get any better than this ! This season has given me some great memories : from Faddy scoring against Farty Whistle ; to seeing Steven Craig celebrating as if he was shot by a bullet at Sheepland !Images such as the team celebrating in a pile when Kenny Wright scored the winner against Aberdeen at Fir Park ( below ) will live long in the memory.


My player of the year has to be Stephen Craigan.Obviously because of his rock solid defending, but also because of the commitment and passion he has shown towards the club !The way he revs up and celebrates with the crowd when we win has put a lump in my throat on more than one occasion this season.Being fair,Derek Adams is also a fair shout.I couldn’t believe it was Del Boy I was watching in a Motherwell shirt when we drew at Shellic.It was a magnificent, commanding performance !


It also looks as though the Legend that is ' Big Tel ' is going to try and keep the squad together for another season.A few new signing and a good

pre- season, you never know what will happen next season.Is more progress possible ?It is amazing to even think like this, considering the drama of last year.


Uncle Phil impressed me in the recent home games against the Jam Tarts and Dunfermline.I would even go as far as saying he played a Leitchy role in the Hearts game.I was a bit sceptical at first, but if he keeps clear of injury he may play a vital role for us next season.I honestly think that if we keep Wee Dougie it will be one of our best signings in years.His hold up play reminds me of an on form John Spencer, plus he rarely plays a bad pass.


I was gutted about Aberdeen’s win against Shellic,I was looking forward to being the first team to make Martin O’Neill cry when we beat them on the beach !Should be fun at Ibrox !There will probably be more ‘Well fans than Blue Noses.They go through a wee bad spell and their“ wonderful, loyal ” support drops by 15,000.True fans my backside !The new kit should be modelled soon;I really hope it doesn’t have ' flyZoom ' in blue writing on it. I’m also hoping that we have a few pre - season games against teams down South.It would be good to go on a wee ‘Well road trip.The rest of the season should be fun !Rangers and Celtic still to play.I’m definitely going to enjoy it!!


A couple of wee jokes before I go ;


A man receives a free ticket to watch Motherwell. Unfortunately when he arrives at Fir Park he realises the seat is right at the back of the stadium. About halfway through the first half he notices an empty seat 10 rows from the pitch, right on the halfway line. He decides to take a chance a makes his way down to the empty seat.


When he arrives, he asks a man sitting next to the empty seat, " Excuse me, is anyone sitting here ? ". The man says no." That's incredible !Who in their right mind would have a seat like this and not use it ? " he says." Well, the seat belongs to my wife ," says the man. " But she passed away.This is the first game we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967." " That's really sad ," says the man, " But couldn't you find a friend or relative who wanted the seat ? "." No, " the man replies, " They're all at the funeral."


Donkey Business


At last week's Motherwell game, John Bruce noticed an advertising hoarding for a company called The Glass Man, but, due to its positioning, it appeared to read The Ass Man from where John was standing.He thought no more about it until a wee boy near him said: " What's the ass man, dad ? ".Fans all around listened eagerly for the reply, and were not disappointed when the father, not taking his eye off the game, immediately replied:" He sells donkeys, son ."

(Herald 3rd March 04)


Calum Stewart

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