GLF 64: Andy spots some local variations....

THE LAWS OF THE GAME (Motherwell Version)

The laws of the game have been applied by football associations across the globe for well over 120 years.Certain unique unwritten local laws have developed in that time,some still very much in use today.  Consider the following…..

THE KRIS BOYD GOAL OF A START

No matter his team,the standing of his team,and the standing of the Motherwell team,the said striker will almost, without fail, pop up at some point in the game and bloody well score against us.On no fewer than 14 times has Boyd found the net against us - and he's only 23!

THE DON GOODMAN EFFECT

The name of the law given to any player who emulates the gargoyle look-a-like striker's burst from mind - numbing mediocrity to Player of The Year out of nowhere.Looking every inch an expensive has-been on a totally different wavelength from any of his team-mates, Goodman's ineffectiveness hit a low several games into the 1999/2000 season as 'Well scrambled around the foot of the table.Within minutes of one fan losing his heid with the player,he scored and hit a purple patch which saw him regularly hit the net and totally run off with the Player of The Year award.This law can often be applied on a game - to - game basis, often just when you've turned to your mate and called a player for everything, he invariably proves you wrong and scores, acting out your very own modern day Don Goodman effect.

THE DUNDEE UTD SCORE DRAW

A recent phenomenon this one, where an inexplicable amount of clashes between Dundee Utd and Motherwell finish as scoring draws.Some say this is down to the fact the sides have been closely matched over the last two decades, but quite obviously the High Gods of Littlewoods Coupon have spoken and score draws aplenty there must be, no fewer than nineteen in the last fifteen years alone if you really must know.

THE SLUMP ENDS HERE……

You'll be well versed with this one.Time and time again we've seen it coming long before it actually happens.You know the story, teams who haven't scored in weeks, teams who haven't won in months -Motherwell get them next and they head off smiling.Perhaps most famously illustrated by the Aberdeen side who hadn't won any of their opening ten games of the season, had lost every away game, hadn't even scored away from home yet came to Fir Park and won 6-5.I mean 6-5!!!!Only Motherwell……

Andy Paterson

Visit the GLF archive.  Hundreds of articles.